Wednesday, July 9, 2008

....being patient

I have not posted any of my art work because my computer died, rebooted and lost all her memory, as I said in an older entry. I have now passed the stage of crying in the Apple Store and humiliating my boyfriend. I am waiting for CS3 to arrive at my house. It is on back order and they said that it should get here at some point in the next 10 days. I am also counting down the days until I finish work and begin graduate school.

This patience thing is not really one of my better qualities. I am the kind of person who gets a gift for someone and hands it to them a week before their birthday. I get excited and emotional. Yes, I am a dramatic, emotional person, however, I don't think that's such a horrible thing. I often hear people at work refer to women as being emotional or sensitive with a clearly negative implication. It's unfair for us to equate feelings, emotion and sensitivity with specifically women and it's equally as unfair to think of these as negatively charged words. I think that my feelings and emotions define who I am and influence my work. Wouldn't you want a partner who is sensitive? emotional? I often feel embarassed by my obvious feelings about things, when really I should re-claim my feelings and be proud that I am not socially inept.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." That is a comforting and enabling sentiment. I hope that you, friendly reader, can feel free to express your emotions as I do, and if you can't I highly recommend watching Grave of the Fireflies. If you don't cry after seeing this, then you are a heartless, soul-less person who needs to go to therapy.

So I am going to push through the next two weeks- being patient and emotional. I am scared, nervous, happy, hopeful, anxious and ready. Moving out of Brooklyn, quitting a secure job and spending way too much money for graduate school all at once is a big deal. I think that I can get through it though. I am so thankful for having supportive family and friends. I'll try to keep Eleanor in my mind as I get through the next two weeks!