Last Day of Work

Today is here. I had been counting down to this day and now that it's here I have butterflies in my stomach. Anyhoo... to celebrate endings and more importantly new beginnings, here is a video that I had never seen before but seems to be somewhat popular in the UK. It gives me so many ideas for clothing design.

fity

Rapper asking for a little respect (just a little bit) .... (like fity cents worth) .... (but that's gonna cost you some dough to use his name) .... (his name that is also a price tag)

Leaving my Job

I have mixed feelings about leaving my job on Friday. Of course I want to leave and start on my new trajectory and to leave the obnoxious- ulcer causing- office politics. But there is something kind of uncomfortable about leaving a place that you have worked at for three years.

I spend so much time at work. I wake up- take the train- work and sleep with very few activities in between. Just writing that makes me realize how I need this change of graduate school. However, you build up these relationships at work that you know would have never lasted in "the real world." You have the office gossiper, the guy into sports, the women who are in their late 40s who have never married and I wonder what am I to them? Am I the nice girl, the bubbly one? I'm really happy to move beyond this little bubble, but sort of sad because I know that I will never speak to these people again.

ruminating on my new living situation

Some photos from my commute

....being patient

I have not posted any of my art work because my computer died, rebooted and lost all her memory, as I said in an older entry. I have now passed the stage of crying in the Apple Store and humiliating my boyfriend. I am waiting for CS3 to arrive at my house. It is on back order and they said that it should get here at some point in the next 10 days. I am also counting down the days until I finish work and begin graduate school.

This patience thing is not really one of my better qualities. I am the kind of person who gets a gift for someone and hands it to them a week before their birthday. I get excited and emotional. Yes, I am a dramatic, emotional person, however, I don't think that's such a horrible thing. I often hear people at work refer to women as being emotional or sensitive with a clearly negative implication. It's unfair for us to equate feelings, emotion and sensitivity with specifically women and it's equally as unfair to think of these as negatively charged words. I think that my feelings and emotions define who I am and influence my work. Wouldn't you want a partner who is sensitive? emotional? I often feel embarassed by my obvious feelings about things, when really I should re-claim my feelings and be proud that I am not socially inept.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." That is a comforting and enabling sentiment. I hope that you, friendly reader, can feel free to express your emotions as I do, and if you can't I highly recommend watching Grave of the Fireflies. If you don't cry after seeing this, then you are a heartless, soul-less person who needs to go to therapy.

So I am going to push through the next two weeks- being patient and emotional. I am scared, nervous, happy, hopeful, anxious and ready. Moving out of Brooklyn, quitting a secure job and spending way too much money for graduate school all at once is a big deal. I think that I can get through it though. I am so thankful for having supportive family and friends. I'll try to keep Eleanor in my mind as I get through the next two weeks!

Tree

Today my bus was delayed by twenty minutes because a tree got stuck in the back door. This was after waiting 30 minutes for the bus to arrive after my 1 hour train ride. Yesterday my bus was delayed by 20 minutes because a handicapped passenger needed to use the wheelchair lift and my bus driver couldn't get the chair to lift, because he said, that the bus was so old that not all these gears work. Again, this was after the long commute on the train. Luckily, we were able to get the man in the wheelchair on the bus. I am feeling a little frustrated with the commute. I am sure that this won't be so bad when I start school in September- but until then, I am on the train at 7:19am and get home around 7:30pm every day. I know that I am doing this to save money, but geez, this is really killing me.