Reaction to Experimental Films

In class we watched a bunch of experimental films including a few by Brakhage. Although I can understand from all of the readings and class discussions the interesting structural elements that help to construct these pieces as well as the unique visual components of the work, I really struggle when it comes to purely enjoying the films from the perspective of a viewer. Out of all of the pieces, I enjoyed the one that Brakhage did during the time that he was living with his in-laws, having a new child and struggling with money. The film was a struggle to watch and I can understand the visual friction that he created when I think about the work in terms of his life. I guess that if I think about these films not as films but more as art objects, I can feel more comfortable talking about them. I almost feel like this is some sort of flaw with me. In college, as an art history major, everyone who I was in class with really enjoyed these films and to me, I just drew a blank. As I said, I got them conceptually but when I just watched them I felt a void. Maybe that this struggle I feel with the disharmony between what I see and what I know is a part of the experience. Maybe with time I will have an A-ha! moment.